I'm 23 now. haha No, it's not so much me who feels that way about age. But it's something that others point out a lot. To me, I don't see how my age could hold me back but then I get talking to people who start panicking that they don't have a career, marriage, or house by 25 (none of those things I plan to have for a long time). I was talking to a woman yesterday who was only 26 and her panicking because she doesn't want to put off marriage and kids much longer to follow her dreams. Kind of seemed odd to me, but interestingly so many people feel this way that it makes me feel as if I should be worried about those things too.

I've also just been toying a lot with the idea of success and what it means. My ex was obsessed with success (and became a life coach/mentor). To me, it seemed quite empty what he was really striving for, to gain recognition and be well loved based on his charm and success. I think it's also I just have a lot of very different paths from others that I want to go down and try. It's kind of hard not having many people who are similar to me in that way.

For the waiting list, I think it's just I've had a very difficult year and wasn't able to improve on some things that would have helped me end up on the shortlist. I'm in a lot better place now so I guess I'm upset at myself for things I really shouldn't. I also have been working to build up my self confidence and esteem because both plummeted a lot in the last few years.

I think it's just harder on me emotionally since it's the second time around and I really wanted to feel like I could do it, or anything, by myself.

I agree with Husky on this one, everyone succeeds at their own pace, so long as you're willing to work for it! At the place my sister is currently working, the reason she got the job was because she told them she was willing to "eat glass" to work for them. So, if you do work hard for something you want, you'll get it eventually.

Also, don't be discouraged about age, imo 25 is very young to be married and have kids. Some people may focus on that, but you don't really have to.

These might just be the ramblings of a tired 15 year old, though. Anyways, we're here for you, FFF!

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3,2,1, Let's jam.

Eat glass. haha

I guess it's also most people I went to high school with have kids/are having a kid (then again, my community is kind of an exception). And people are getting married. None of that really interests me right now and I doubt I ever want a wedding, but I'm starting to notice people getting frantic about this now that I'm older. I'm chill just going my own way but it's interesting how people are thinking now.

I'm feeling a lot better today and gotten some pretty good advice. Thanks, guys. My friends have been thinking of ways to help me and my former professor has offered to help me a ton and sit down together/organize workshops for me.

Glad you're feeling better, FFF!

HL: My grandma is visiting today, so I introduced her to the wonder that is Cowboy Bebop. She enjoyed it, I think!

LL: My spring break is almost over, and I still need pictures for my English piece.

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3,2,1, Let's jam.

LL: we were planning to go to Nagoya Castle today to see the sakura, but it's raining. :c

Also it's the university entrance ceremony tomorrow and I have to do a small speech there. I'm freaking out a lot. I've never done anything like this in my life. Aaaaaah.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.


HL: we're getting katsu karē for lunch~. Omnomnom.

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@Kaz...

and then after the nom nom nom's


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

Seriously, Kaz, I trust that you will do well, I believe it!

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HL:
One of my grandson's texted me this evening and wants to talk with me about our family history. He lives in another state and we're going to connect by phone on Sat evening... I am always happy when one of my older grandkids contacts me, lol

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Thank you, Husky.

LL: speech didn't go so well. I had it memorised and I felt fine right until the moment I had to do it... then I started shaking. And I could hardly think or read the page in front of me. I got through it, but it wasn't good. The four students before me had breezed through theirs with barely any mistake or pause, to make it even more embarrassing. I just want to apologise to my teacher now, she chose me for this and believed I could do it. I wish we could at least have had a rehearsal, something. There was supposed to be one this morning but it never happened.

Sigh.


EDIT: You know, having had some time to think about it, this is okay.

I was punted about 6000 miles outside of my comfort zone today, so considering that, I suppose things went better than they could have. It was by no means good, but at least I went up there and did it.

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SEE,! I had confidence in you...

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Yay, I'm sure you did great though, Kaz. <3 Great job.

HL: So I'm applying... to teach in South Korea? Honestly I'm sort of terrified but there are more programs there long-term that appeal to me than Japan. But also scares me because this might mean I'll actually follow my other dream..

And your other dream is...?


(that is, if you don't mind telling)

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quote:

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Originally posted by husky51
And your other dream is...?


(that is, if you don't mind telling)

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This is my own personal opinion, FFF... Take it for what it's worth...

I would have nothing to do with North Korea... If any country in the entire world brought a nuclear strike, or even just a plain war, on itself, IMO, it would be NK... Even China, long a supporter of NK holds back! From what I read and see in writings and documentaries, it is a tightly run country with most of its inhabitants living on a starvation diet while the leaders live relatively well. It amazes me to see the citizens cheering for the so-called great leader...

As used to being as free with our speech and words as we are in our home countries, I worry that some slight slip of the tongue might not be in your best interests...

Anyway, my two-cents...

That being said, if that is what you truly want, then I wish you the best...

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NK is scary, for sure. I didn't even know it was possible for a foreigner to go and work there, let alone as an English teacher... I kind of thought learning English might even be illegal. If you can do it safely, well, as safely as is possible there, then... that's good. It might be a harrowing experience, but I know you understand that well. I've only seen a few interviews with refugees from NK but they've all been sobering to say the least, and often upsetting. I don't know what's going to become of that country.

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No one should go to North Korea. It is only functioning cause china has interest. Did you mean South korea by any chance?...... just my opinion

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Watch everything but only take the good things from it

Ask, think and learn. Because the more we know the more we grow.

Watching the wrong to happen is the same as commiting the wrong.

If it looks like things are forcing you to be creative, Then be creative.

its a uniquely Miyazaki film, one only he could make and its uniqueness places it beyond being easily critiqued.[About Porco Rosso]
taken from a quote of Saddletank and Orphic Okapi

Yeah, I'm quite aware of all of that. And I don't mean live there permanently or anything, when I say I want to work with children I mean those who have defected to South Korea. In the long haul, I'm more interested in learning about how North Koreans are integrated into South Korean society and what services are available to them.

And NK fired another ballistic missile into the Japanese Sea today.

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Wowie, dangerous things. In other, less dangerous news:

HL: Had my first high school track meet today! I ran the 1600 meter run (1 mile) in 6:21. Very happy with my time
LL: I have state testing the rest of this week for those who don't know, state testing is what schools in the US do to test their students, and it's awful. We waste an entire week taking tests that could be done all in one school day. It's pointless, honestly.

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3,2,1, Let's jam.

Not bad, Flare... the best I ever did in running was a 9-10 second 50-yard dash... My forte was the rope climb, 3.4 seconds on a 20-foot rope. Coach thought that he had mis-timed me and made me do it again... so I did, same results, lol

In Navy boot camp, I was anchor man on the rope climb team, then I got heavier, lol

HL:
A great, relaxing day... Watched TV, watched anime, read a magazine and just kicked back...

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Our school doesn't have a rope climb, that seems like it'd be fun!

HL: I'm done with my state tests, I think I did pretty well.
LL: I don't really have one today.

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3,2,1, Let's jam.