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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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Ahh, I can't say I'm jealous of any of you, but I must say something. I don't quite understand how come guys don't like me, at least not openly. u.u
I've only been confessed to once to my face, but that was an utter failure. I hate feeling like the only guys who will ever like me are possessive, obsessive, and ugly. I don't so much care for appearances, but a lot of people were up in arms against me going with that guy, simply because I did not like him much and that he was not at all good looking. It made me seem desperate. I was told the other day by one of the guys in my first period class he didn't like me "because she's a hoe."
What?
I don't understand where these views come from but a lot of it reminds me of how I was teased by one of the guys for what I wore. I'm used to comments on my tights now, but that one guy said "What are you, a hooker? Are you trying that hard to get a guy?". It really hurt me because that obviously wasn't it, and it's just the way I dress. I'm conservative, and wear tights to conceal my scratches and bruises on my legs. However, a lot of these tights are patterned and not tightly knit, so some people even think I wear fishnets.
I'm not saying all guys hate me, but still. I've never been asked on a date in my life. Or asked to even be a guy's friend. I've only ever been called a friend by a guy once. And there was one other guy, however online, but because we don't want long distance and he wants me to find someone else, he felt like a terrible person today and told me never to let him toy with me. I think he honestly felt horrible for the things he's done that made me cry so many times. He doesn't quite get why I've never been liked by guys, as he describes me as someone "sweet, caring, innocent, but too, too kind.". I think the kindness is the hardest thing for me, because I'm too willing to let go if the other person is not willing to hold on.
I had a friend come crying to me today over a guy and I wasn't sure what to do but told her right away he wasn't worth her time. But she always has guys wanting her. It just makes me feel... inferior. I'm not stupid or ugly, or someone expensive and flirty. But I've never been confessed to.
Somehow this made me cry a little. u.u; It's been stressing on my conscious.
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 05.13.2011, 09:54 PM |
  
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Nausicaa_Cat
Baron
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location:
Posts: 3198 |
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FFF, some of the prettiest, nicest and most fun girls I know have never had any experience with a boy - not even one liking them or a kiss or anything. Whilst alternatively some pretty horrible girls I know have had tons of experience. I don't think it's a reflection on you at all really, most of the time it's simply a matter of circumstance. You might simply not have met the kind of guys who are best suited to you yet! When you move away and are surrounded by tons of new people your age I'm sure you'll meet loads  You really shouldn't assume just because you haven't met a person you click with yet that they aren't going to turn up, it only takes one coincidental meeting to start something so yeah  Cheer up because you are extremely lovely and it's only a matter of time.
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| 05.15.2011, 07:42 AM |
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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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Aww, thanks, NC. I suppose that's true. I was just upset over it lately. I couldn't understand it and asked my friends how come no one has really liked me and they didn't know much more than to say "Because you're creepy". o.o;
I don't really consider myself that creepy. XD Just.. strange.
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| 05.15.2011, 08:07 AM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12806 |
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The only thing I can add to this is that from a boys viewpoint much the same thing happens. I grew up a loner mainly because of all the moving we did, never being able to keep friends, etc. I also felt that I wasn't good-looking and because of my reading, somewhat of a nerd BEFORE the term came around.
It has a lot to do with the insecurities of the age bracket IMO. Some are full of confidence and out-going while others are more introverted, like I was. I never really met a girl that I connected with until 10th grade and that was Susan. We liked many of the same things, and yes, like you commented about yourself, FFF, she dressed different from most of the other girls. She would as likely were a sheath dress to school or be otherwise dressed-up as if she was going out on a date rather than going to school. I found it charming, although I didn't think of it by that word back then. (cute, probably) Unfortunately, we moved again, clear across the country and that was the last that I heard of her.
As far as the 'ugly' bit, I didn't have a very good self-image of myself back then and it wasn't until many, many years after that I realized that, HEY, I wasn't a bad looking kid! I have a picture of myself from when I was 17 and that guy looked pretty good... I guess what blew the image was my inate shyness, etc. When I got older, I finally came to the point where I thought,' to hell with what other people think, I'm being ME!' And I kinda came out of my shell That would have been in my mid-twenties, I guess...
Anyway, all I can add to the confusion, I don't really know if I said anything helpful, just that many guys AND gals go through the shy and feeling unwanted stage, just try not to let it get you down. Your day will come and you will blossom like a great big sunflower...
Hang in there all...
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| 05.15.2011, 09:54 AM |
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hopexx5
Totoro
Registration Date: 01.17.11
Location: UK
Posts: 698 |
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quote:
Originally posted by Kemi
@Hopexx, I now see your last post. Forgive me, I didn't noticed yet. That's GREAT news! You see, just be patient.. I hope you will like her back and that you guys can go out and get to know eachother even better  And maybe then you'll eventually end up in a warm, happy relationship. Just be kind to her, loving, caring..and GO FOR IT! Believe in yourself, I mean, you seem a nice guy to me, sweet and you are also handsome. Don't be ashamed, just try to be a little more secure about yourself. I am sure you can do it
I wish that to, but circumstances take place, and make things userly unrearlistic, ill proubly pull it off one day though.
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| 05.19.2011, 06:44 AM |
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Saddletank
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 09.28.06
Location: On your case
Posts: 10069 |
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quote:
I was told the other day by one of the guys in my first period class he didn't like me "because she's a hoe."
but that one guy said "What are you, a hooker? Are you trying that hard to get a guy?".
Had I been a girl, that person would have got a slap. A hard one.
People like that are not worth fretting over for one second because they clearly have their own issues.
Don't even let such comments faze you because people who are that rude to others are not a true measure of how decent, reasonable people see you. Its like getting upset over arguments on the internet. Not worth your time. Move on and met new people. You certainly will.
Also *hugs*
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Isakaya High School Roleplaying Info
"An old man like me stands no chance fighting against a high school girl in her underwear" - Oshino Meme, Nekomonogatari (Kuro)
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| 05.19.2011, 11:14 AM |
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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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Thanks. I understand, Saddles. :3 I'm just sensitive to such remarks. >.<;
But I'm confused over something else at the moment.
After completing my last math test, I told my friend who is in the 90s if I manage a higher mark than her on the test, she would ask out the guy I was rejected by, but mostly for fun because I actually wanted him to flat out say No this time. Well, I won, and it took sometime, but she finally told him.
Except... he seemed to know who she meant before even saying anything remotely on topic, and told her not to talk. o_O What..? How could he know? O_o; He shouldn't know what she was going to say, surely. So why? But, anyhow, he wanted her to pretend this discussion never happened or things might turn awkward.
Between us? I'm confused. ._.; No, I'm fine if he says no, so I don't get why.. I'm only in one of his classes. It's not like I'm going to act hurt or anything. o_O; He should know me a little more than the others that I'm shy and not talkative to many of the boys.
Why didn't he just say no? It would've made everything more resolved, but he won't say no. What could this mean if he won't say anything?
And my friends started calling me by his last name. -___- And it suits me... My friend actually told him I refer to myself as his wife. DX Oh my god, since when did I say that?!
Just confused..
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| 05.19.2011, 06:33 PM |
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Orphic Okapi
Baron
Registration Date: 04.08.07
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 1335 |
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I'm trying to help a friend out with a similar situation right now, actually. It's always a tricky and frustrating place to be. The general rule I've established for myself is that anyone who refuses to give you the courtesy of a definite answer probably isn't worth your time. This is not always the case, but it can save you a lot of trouble agonizing over a particular person. You'll never find out what they're really feeling unless they tell you, and that's their responsibility, not yours. So try not to worry about it. Searching for an answer by analyzing their every move usually doesn't work very well.
Also, from my own experience (on both sides of the problem), when people evade the question it's because they're afraid to say no. If someone is really into you and knows you like them back, and is still afraid to say yes, then they have some issues they need to work out before dating anyone.
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 I like tea!
Post last edited by Orphic Okapi on 05.20.2011, 12:37 AM.
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| 05.20.2011, 12:37 AM |
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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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I know. I only wanted to ask once more, to see if I could reach a definite answer. But he doesn't seem to want to give me one. Oh well.
There has been another guy I've been kind of interested in getting to meet. But he's 20 and I'm not exactly sure how good his English is, but I think it's pretty good. I've only ever heard him talking with his sister over the phone in their language, because his sister is my sister's best friend. >.< And she loves me lots but has never thought maybe to get me and him together.
What I know of this guy is really strange.
1. He owns over 20 pairs of shoes. When I went over to their house, I was very shocked to see this. He owns more than I do.
2. He's obsessed with bacon.
3. He owns a Death Note and freaks out if you touch it.
4. He owns an awesome car and goes around blasting music. I've spotted it numerous times.
5. He is easily corrupted by his younger sister. Apparently he and her sang "Friday" together.
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| 05.21.2011, 07:51 PM |
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Roarkiller
Your Daddy-O
Registration Date: 06.03.03
Location: Home, resting...
Posts: 6077 |
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I think I MAY be in love.
Dunno.
Well anyway, I spent earth's last day at a reunion dinner for Air Shooting Club members from my Junior College days. There was one junior who I did take notice off back then, but mainly because her face was so impossibly round, and I thought it was quite cute. It was only during our farewell party on my last year of school did I realize that she's quite a stout muslim (my number one criteria, btw).
Of course, at the time, I had my eyes on another girl, so eh.
Anyway, fast forward to a few weeks ago, some of them decided to hold a gathering to catch up on old times, and I remembered two paricular girls. One I couldn't remember her name, and to be honest I don't really go for the model-gorgeous type. The other one I remembered, and was listed as amongst those attending.
Now one of my problems in mixing with girls, or with anybody for that matter, is that I have way different interests from them, not to mention my horrible inability to carry a conversation, which always somehow always sound like a brief summary or a bland lecture. This girl though, happen to have a big interest in Japanese culture like anime, J-drama and the like, and she can even peak japanese fairly. Which is actually a rarity; religion and anime don't often mix, you know?
The meeting ended without a big note anyway because the chicken that I am can't even drop a hint the size of a pea, but it left me thinking: maybe, just maybe, should I try asking her out?
I asked in pasing about her relationship status, and she said she was single and feeling pretty comfortable with it. Maybe she caught on and was trying to tell me that she wasn't interested, or it's just me reading too deep, I dunno.
I guess when it comes down to it, I'm just scared of rejection or being a failure, you know. It's like if I don't see even the slightest chance of success, I wouldn't even venture at all. And me being me, chances of sustaining a relationship, in my own honest opinion, is a tall order. And considering my having packed schedule of day job and night studies... you know. Then again maybe I'm just getting better at making excuses for my pathetic self.
I'm sorta confused. I don't like change, and like her, I'm actually pretty comfortable with my status quo. But somewhere in my heart, like everyone else, I just feel the need to have someone by my side, you know? To feel the empty part in my life that makes it worth living and sacrificing for.
__________________
I am me.
I am who I am.
I am Roarkiller.
No one else is me.
Roarkiller.net
Isakaya High RPG Site
quote:
Originally posted by fenkashi
Screw your opinions, they are not relevant ^^.
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| 05.21.2011, 09:40 PM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12806 |
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Maybe what I did with one relationship that I had might help...
The lady that I flew to Chicago for in order to drive the truck across country with her deceased mothers belongings is the lady that I am referring to. We shared the same room as a matter of concenience and expense and each had our own beds. We looked at it that we were adult friends and conducted ourselves accordingly.
When the trip was finished and the truck unloaded, we were resting by the truck, she in the seat and I on the ground near the door. Just relaxing now that it was over and done. We must have talked for a half hour or more and I told her that I was very interested in her as a good friend, but if it ever came about that we became more intimate in our relationship, then I would be comfortable with that as well.
Now by intimate, I don't necessarily mean sleeping together, but strengthening our relationahip with each other and exploring the possibilities, if I am making myself clear here. We became very GOOD friends and while the relationship never progressed any further along those lines, we enjoyed each others company very much and ate evening dinners and chatted and watched TV many, many evenings... We used each other as a sounding board to discuss things that we were having problems with in our own lives. She now lives in New Mexico and is married for the first time. We still email a bit.
Possibly something along these lines might work for you. Maybe tell her that you like her and would like to see more of her in the future for dining out, movies, conversation, etc. I don't know much about your local customs or how your being Muslims might affect this idea, but possibly you can work something out that would keep you in compliance with both values...
Anyway, this is just my thoughts and however you decide to proceed, good luck... Inshallah...
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Post last edited by husky51 on 05.22.2011, 12:31 AM.
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| 05.22.2011, 12:29 AM |
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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quote:
Originally posted by Roarkiller
I think I MAY be in love.
Dunno.
Yay Roar!
My recommendation is don't read too deep into any one particular sentence. There's also a chance that she didn't want to seem desperate, you know? If someone asked me whether I was going out with someone, even if it was someone I was decently interested in, I'd probably say something to that extent. Because I wouldn't want to come across as one of those people who just can't be single.
Anyway, try not to be too worried! It sounds like she's very much your type, so there's a good chance you're her type too. ^^
Even if she turns you down, you shouldn't think of it as being a failure. But I know how hard it is so I won't make it sound like it's no big deal.
So, if you're both not big on change, maybe take it slowly? Just chat for a while, maybe ask her out for a walk? And not rush into things?
Whatever you do, we're rooting for you!
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| 05.22.2011, 09:21 PM |
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Roarkiller
Your Daddy-O
Registration Date: 06.03.03
Location: Home, resting...
Posts: 6077 |
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Just for the first and last sentence, mushka, I could get on a plane to canada just to give you a bear hug Thanks.
I had thoughts against this because of my failure in communication, but maybe you and husky are right; I should just go for it.
She likes gantz, so maybe I should catch the movie first, then ask her out to see the green lantern or something.
Sounds like a plan?
__________________
I am me.
I am who I am.
I am Roarkiller.
No one else is me.
Roarkiller.net
Isakaya High RPG Site
quote:
Originally posted by fenkashi
Screw your opinions, they are not relevant ^^.
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| 05.23.2011, 12:56 AM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12806 |
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| 05.23.2011, 03:02 AM |
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fenkashi
Dibs on Supreme Overlord
Registration Date: 08.12.07
Location: Canada
Posts: 5733 |
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quote:
Originally posted by Roarkiller
Just for the first and last sentence, mushka, I could get on a plane to canada just to give you a bear hug Thanks.
I had thoughts against this because of my failure in communication, but maybe you and husky are right; I should just go for it.
She likes gantz, so maybe I should catch the movie first, then ask her out to see the green lantern or something.
Sounds like a plan?
GAH! This whole thing. *hugs*
We're definitely cheering for you. No regrets, hey? 
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| 05.23.2011, 03:23 AM |
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Nausicaa_Cat
Baron
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location:
Posts: 3198 |
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quote:
Originally posted by fenkashi
quote:
Originally posted by Roarkiller
Just for the first and last sentence, mushka, I could get on a plane to canada just to give you a bear hug Thanks.
I had thoughts against this because of my failure in communication, but maybe you and husky are right; I should just go for it.
She likes gantz, so maybe I should catch the movie first, then ask her out to see the green lantern or something.
Sounds like a plan?
GAH! This whole thing. *hugs*
We're definitely cheering for you. No regrets, hey?
Ahhh definitely want to join in on the cheering here! Good luck Roar, i'm sure it's least worth giving it a go and if she has any sense I'm sure she'd like to get to know you too. Cheering you on!
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| 05.23.2011, 06:52 AM |
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Orphic Okapi
Baron
Registration Date: 04.08.07
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 1335 |
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This is so exciting, Roar. You guys sound pretty compatible to me. I wish you the best of luck.
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I like tea!
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| 05.23.2011, 09:55 AM |
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Saddletank
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 09.28.06
Location: On your case
Posts: 10069 |
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*nods and adds supportive noises*
__________________
Isakaya High School Roleplaying Info
"An old man like me stands no chance fighting against a high school girl in her underwear" - Oshino Meme, Nekomonogatari (Kuro)
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| 05.23.2011, 12:30 PM |
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Roarkiller
Your Daddy-O
Registration Date: 06.03.03
Location: Home, resting...
Posts: 6077 |
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Um... green lantern opens in THREE weeks. Other good movies opening later than that. Umizaru 3, which was what I wanted, just ended screening.
This sucks.
I totally need something else, unless I want to wait until then, which I don't. I guess I'll risk a simple dinner. I dunno, dessert buffet or something.
Urgh... this is starting to get scary...
Edit: sent MSG via facebook. And now I REALLY don't feel too good...
__________________
I am me.
I am who I am.
I am Roarkiller.
No one else is me.
Roarkiller.net
Isakaya High RPG Site
quote:
Originally posted by fenkashi
Screw your opinions, they are not relevant ^^.
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| 05.23.2011, 08:03 PM |
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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*telepathically transmitting happy thoughts*
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| 05.24.2011, 02:35 AM |
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