In my experience it's been pretty easy, but I imagine you need more luck for big name artists. Then again, a friend of mine has managed to see Ayumi Hamasaki at least twice, so maybe it isn't that hard.

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I just don't know what level the bands I like are on. lol I'm also interested in the big summer music festivals that a lot of my friends go to. I know one guy who went to two last year but his girlfriend bought the tickets.

Also, does anyone know how difficult it would be to see one of the bigger shows at the Takarazuka revue? My best friend went last year but her friend bought the ticket. I have a lot of friends in that area who love going to the revue so I might have less issues but I really, really want to do that. lol Some of my friends are friends with the actors and trainees or in the fan clubs. Perks of knowing mostly Kansai/Hyogo people.

As far as I know, it isn't so difficult. I think you can only buy them if you're in Japan, and you might have to book in advance, but I don't think they sell out that fast if it isn't some special performance. A lot of the seats are pretty expensive though.


By the way, saviour - I meant to respond to your post. I think the reason is a mixture of the things you suggested, but I really feel the whole "real/virtual" thing is overstated. Nowadays there is so much that people can do, and for both young women and young men, careers, education and social life can take priority over building romantic relationships. And it is certainly true that the government doesn't do much to make it easy to balance family life with other personal matters.

I think that piece is also a bit misleading in some ways. It doesn't really talk about when all these things have happened, suggesting that it's all very recent, even though it's actually spread out across the last few decades. And I don't particularly appreciate the idea they mention that it's got something to do with young men not being "manly" enough.

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Heck, I actually wrote 4000 words of essay on this exact subject before the summer. It's on my iPad and I don't have WiFi right now so I'll get it when I'm on campus tomorrow if I remember, and anyone can take a look if they wish, ha.

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I don't pretend to be an expert on Japanese culture, sexual or otherwise, but from my memories of living in Japan back in the mid-60's, I can see how some of the points made might apply. Granted, anime was a future happening at the time so I can't relate to that experience while in Japan.

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thank you arren, kaz and husky for your reply. and kaz i am waiting for that essay.(maybe in pdf form, your wish)

I believe that people always do things calculating risk vs benefit. I think today career and personal life gives you more benefit than the benefits of starting family.

Another important aspect is tradition can inspire polarizing phenomena in different parts of the globe. I think in asia it is a male dominated society. So if women are more financially secure then it is difficult for the male partner to make all the decision. And it is a problem( at least psychologically)

So i think maybe some people specially in asia might feel inferiority complex. After all house-husband is a kind of supreme seal of failure for any male in Asia. I think its getting popular in West.

And i also feel that the pop culture must have some sort of psychological effect on this phenomena. Of the manga's i read in case of shonen(boys) romantic manga or normal genre manga in almost all the cases the boy is a loser. The girl on the other hand is very intelligent however extremely simple minded, not pretentious, not moody which i can not say is totally false but most of the time that has been the case. On the other hand shoujo(girls) manga of similar concept or genre has a girls who is very good/mostly good/average and then there is a boy who is great/good looking/cool/band member/rich family/foreigner(mostly England) then the story goes on. Which is never the real case most of the time. I tried a lot to find stories about average people but hardly there is any.(speciallly in the young adult section) Why is that the case in Japan? I can find many stories about that in English, Bangla(my language) or Russian(cause there is a lot of translated russian text i have read). I feel that japanese young people dream a life that is unsustainable. And because of peer pressure(maybe pressure from their guardian to do good academically) , they succumb to despair.


Up until 1950-60s the workforce in higher level jobs(all the jobs except for menial labour and strictly clerical jobs) was largely dominated by males. However they are now around at 50-50 male female ratio at most of the cases except for maybe STEM fields. I think it allowed competitive pricing in salaries. Which made it harder for a single parent to raise a family in a low paying job. You might think it is the other way around that they started working because they had low income. But if you guys inspect carefully you will see that in that time only in extremely low income families both parents worked. Right now however career has become one of the most important factor in ones life, regardless of money. And this is actually very recent say the last 25 years. It was happening but just was not severe enough to come to attention.


However the most important factor is straight cut lack of respect of for each other. Women in asia despise men who are under achieving (specially in cases of finance and education) than them and men fear and feel bad in presence of a women who is superior to them. This is a key problem in asia. The more developed a country is the greater the chance of this phenomena to happen.(as a matter of fact japan is the most advanced nation in whole asia) See one example is in my neighbor country india where the rape has been increased in a striking rate. I feel it is also because of media and lack of respect.

NB: sorry i wanted to contain this discussion only about japan. But to me the problem has an asian root. If women in asia starts to accept men who are inferior to them and men starts to accept the working class women favorably then a harmony might be possible to achieve. Otherwise i expect to see similar phenomena in other parts of asia.


NB2: Often in this kind of discussion i feel that the real truth might get buried under assumptions. As a male i can not say about female however i tried to convey what i read in a newspaper article which interviewed a high achieving women why she do not want to marry. She said similar thing. And from my experience of marriage related activities in my family i have seen that we look for male candidates who are at least one step higher than the female one (like if the female is B.Sc then the male has to be at least M.Sc or Ph.d) vice-versa for male(actually if the female is pretty then her qualification does not really matter ). You guys might find it really difficult but that is how things are done. Are they happy? from my experience most people are. Lower rates of divorce makes the family bond stronger.

Is it better? i dont know. The situation is changing rapidly. Now there are enough highly educated female that in many cases it is hard to find males who are willing to marry them.(cause they are not young anymore). So they are getting married with males who are of equal caliber. however then males want to dominate in family, but such is not possible when the female is of similar caliber. In some extremely rare cases some educated women are marrying less qualified males but it is because they are not beauty. For the people who are beauty and at the same time high achieving many of them do not marry(even in a third world country like bangladesh), and women despise these women even more because they believe that these women might cheat on their husbands (cause casual sexual relationship is non-existent in my country and they(wives) feel that a healthy person can not be deprived of sex her whole life(which is true, atleast scientifically, although we do not need to but our minds are supposed to work that way). My opinion is in a society like mine, where sex without marriage is not permitted, a women who is high achieving and does not swallow her pride and marry someone less than her then either she has to be virgin her whole life or do adultery which the wives wont like. (and most middle aged(say 99%) male and female are married. So except for some extreme cases the problem is not severe here. people can get married quite easily, currently). I am merely stating the situation. Please dont judge.

NB3: So are the males are getting dumber? Actually long ago in a discussion with mush she said that American mathematics and some science fields are getting female dominated. I tried to find out if that was truth, what i found basically was a little different. Males and females are equally intelligent. However in the past females were encouraged to go to the arts dept. where men pursued science. Now as women joined that band wagon it became harder for men. However there is more or less 50-50 ratio in the all the fields combined. I think males are not interested in maths(or mostly theoretical stuff)(mainly because more money and more opportunity in other computer related fields) because they are taking applied mathematics in computer science and other applied computer science fields where there are few women. So basically it is not men who are getting dumb its just that women are catching up. But although such is good for west, in asia this is causing trouble. You can think of those hikkokomori(thats the right word, right?) people (estimated 200000) to be someone from this group. A under achieving female is not a problem but a under achieving male is thought to be a disgrace of the family. Do you understand now where the MANLY part comes from Arren?

NB4:
@ladies who are here(as they are highly achieving). as i can not verify about women. Do you agree or disagree with me? It has been the case that for a high achieving men to support a family, where women do not work is a norm or socially acceptable. Do you think women in our time(not just west) is matured(i mean mentally understanding) enough to take the roles of MAN?

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Watch everything but only take the good things from it

Ask, think and learn. Because the more we know the more we grow.

Watching the wrong to happen is the same as commiting the wrong.

If it looks like things are forcing you to be creative, Then be creative.

its a uniquely Miyazaki film, one only he could make and its uniqueness places it beyond being easily critiqued.[About Porco Rosso]
taken from a quote of Saddletank and Orphic Okapi

Post last edited by saviour2012 on 10.04.2016, 03:25 PM.

It would seem from that report that the government is slow in responding to trends. I would hazard that this social change has been developing since at least the 1980s in Japan and its curious that the government (or successive governments) have not done more with financial benefits to encourage young people to start families.

Perhaps we are just seeing the continuing trend prevalent in Japanese society since at least the late medieval/early renaissance period where community is placed higher than self.

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Isakaya High School Roleplaying Info

"An old man like me stands no chance fighting against a high school girl in her underwear" - Oshino Meme, Nekomonogatari (Kuro)

I can get some of my friends' perspectives on this. Some of them, mainly my female friends from Japan are very interested in this. I have one guy friend who is passionate about dismantling Japanese societal norms and gender inequality, and another who is very into progressive politics and attends protests, rallies, and meets with politicians.

*leaves an offering of an essay*

I know it's 23 pages but about 5 of those are references and it is double-spaced. :')

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Post last edited by Kazegami on 10.05.2016, 07:34 AM.

hmm it seems i can not find the link. @kaz

it wants me to create an account. Dont you have google drive or dropbox

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Watch everything but only take the good things from it

Ask, think and learn. Because the more we know the more we grow.

Watching the wrong to happen is the same as commiting the wrong.

If it looks like things are forcing you to be creative, Then be creative.

its a uniquely Miyazaki film, one only he could make and its uniqueness places it beyond being easily critiqued.[About Porco Rosso]
taken from a quote of Saddletank and Orphic Okapi

Post last edited by saviour2012 on 10.05.2016, 07:24 AM.

Hmm, try it now? I put it on Dropbox.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Kazegami
Hmm, try it now? I put it on Dropbox.

---

got it. Thanks

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Watch everything but only take the good things from it

Ask, think and learn. Because the more we know the more we grow.

Watching the wrong to happen is the same as commiting the wrong.

If it looks like things are forcing you to be creative, Then be creative.

its a uniquely Miyazaki film, one only he could make and its uniqueness places it beyond being easily critiqued.[About Porco Rosso]
taken from a quote of Saddletank and Orphic Okapi

WOW kaz i never thought that even though you are a person from a completely different culture you might understand the gist of this problem.

quote:

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[in conclusion. it appears that some of the most major stumbling blocks to people‘s forming of romantic relationships and entering matrimony in contemporary Japan are the incompatible and outdated attitudes of both sexes towards each other. No longer willing to settle for being the docile housewife of a salaryman yet expecting a partner with a salaryman’s pay check and a handsome face to boot. women are frustrated by an apparent dearth of suitable men. Discouraged from indulging their natural desires. even casual sex may be difficult to come by. Many men. crushed by the mounting weight of expectation upon them, are giving up on romance altogether, throwing themselves into work and hobbies to fill the gap.

---

__________________
Watch everything but only take the good things from it

Ask, think and learn. Because the more we know the more we grow.

Watching the wrong to happen is the same as commiting the wrong.

If it looks like things are forcing you to be creative, Then be creative.

its a uniquely Miyazaki film, one only he could make and its uniqueness places it beyond being easily critiqued.[About Porco Rosso]
taken from a quote of Saddletank and Orphic Okapi

Post last edited by saviour2012 on 10.05.2016, 09:45 AM.

Aha, that quote actually definitely reflects a lot of my Japanese girlfriends sentiments and my close guy friend's. Actually, working with exchange students oftentimes it's their first time, especially for the young women, to have to spend time living with and talking regularly to someone of the opposite sex. My guy friend often talks about the crushing expectations of him (partly why he gave up his dream of being a JTE, because although he's extremely passionate about teaching if he decides to have a family it might not be enough money, etc.) but also is vocal about unfair expectations placed on women as well.

Most of my girlfriends want to date or get married, although career is pretty important to a lot of them. They do tend to have very high expectations of their future partner, although the ones I'm closest with aren't exactly like that and just want someone they can have a future with who loves them. A lot of the girls I know though feel like they aren't good enough for men because they don't fit the mould of what would make an ideal "girlfriend". This is actually one of the sadder things I've discussed with my Japanese friends, and I think it goes both ways.

I know a lot of unmarried couples with children here, mainly young people who have just begun their careers or finished high school. Some want to get married and have a wedding. I think it's the wanting a wedding part that kind of holds some of them back, as well as the fear of divorce. And for my single friends with children their children were always well cared for.

I'm someone who might become a housewife, but I want a career. The important thing for me is if I decide to do this I have a supportive partner who does not want to *make* me into a housewife, but supports me to be one if I so choose. This is from my own personal experience of being shoved into the housewife role. I'd like a kid or two but I still want a career.

How do you come out as nonbinary/genderqueer..? I feel extremely unhappy constantly being labeled as a woman and not really sure what to do just yet. I have the money to start wearing men's clothing but I'm not really certain of how to "pass" as a "guy" anymore, like I used to be able to in middle school.

I think a big problem I have with it is that I don't feel the need to talk about the fact I am. Yet I want to live it but I'm afraid of the comments and things I used to get.. I'm also totally fine with feminine pronouns and dressing feminine, but I feel unhappy because I'm constantly put in this box and it's not me. The same goes for my sexuality. I've known I was pan since I saw the definition for it, but when I was younger I was ridiculed for being attracted to certain people (usually men who wore makeup/feminine clothing, androgynous individuals, etc.).

idk sorry for dumping all this here, I'm just really tired of this box.

This is by no means coming from experience, just what makes sense to me, so take it with a pinch of salt. From what you've said, it sounds to me like how exactly you describe yourself isn't a priority. For that reason I think it would be best not to come out using one label or another, that might end up pushing you into another box without necessarily helping with your self-expression.

My suggestion would be to try adopting a more androgynous style without giving it any particular name, and then that process of experimentation might point you towards the most appropriate next step.

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arren's suggestion sounds souns to me...

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oh god, how do people even find this a problem? I can't begin to imagine.

I must be pretty comfortable in my box. Like, I don't think there is a thing women do or experience that I would want to but can't because other people would start pointing fingers at me saying that's not something men do... Like wearing a skirt - I would be totally laughed at for wearing one, but I don't want to. Or maybe I don't BECAUSE I would be laughed at? Maybe. But, the reality of today is that I don't want to.

Any way. Perhaps, instead of trying to get out of your box by jumping into the box that you do not belong at, you could just expand your box to include things you want?

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It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so loving what - Stephen Fry.

Did anyone else have any problems accessing the Tavern (and the main onlineghibli site) yesterday? I couldn't get on for a bit, and it was fine later in the day but I was wondering if anybody else had the same thing happen.

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I had no problems.

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Isakaya High School Roleplaying Info

"An old man like me stands no chance fighting against a high school girl in her underwear" - Oshino Meme, Nekomonogatari (Kuro)