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Nausicaa_Cat
Baron
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location:
Posts: 3198 |
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Ohh Husky, you are as cute as buttons, whatever I decide thank you very much for that response  Cheered my up greatly!
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 04.17.2010, 07:30 PM |
  
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12816 |
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| 04.17.2010, 08:05 PM |
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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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Henh, boy trouble... well, it does sound like he's uninterested. I wouldn't have much experience with being chased after, as very few guys will show as much interest in me as girls do (which, makes me shudder o.o; ) but chasing after I've noticed when guys will blow you off. Except none would go as far as kissing or conversations on embarrassing topics, let alone conversations on innocent topics. o.o; None of them usually let me in, but those could be the ones I go after and their personality type. Maybe he's just a prick and doesn't deserve you?
I'm sure there would be someone else other than him, Haruko. :3 So ignoring him would be good. He might even react, but if he doesn't at least you'll know why.
The boy I like.. I don't chase after him, and he used to tease me, but he likes to talk to me. So.. it's fun. Even if he doesn't like me as a girl at all, at least it's nice knowing he will talk to me, which is really strange. It always seems more fun to talk to him too because we get along rather than fight, which is the usual case among my guy friends and I. Guys like teasing or picking fights with me, so it's nice having someone around who only does minor teasing. D:
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| 04.17.2010, 10:33 PM |
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Roarkiller
Your Daddy-O
Registration Date: 06.03.03
Location: Home, resting...
Posts: 6077 |
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I can never give that kind of answer. *bows at husky*
But on the guy, he sounds a lot like how I would react. See, if ou were to ever meet me on msn or chatroom online, be prepared for a LOT of radio silence, because I'm just not a very talkative person. Even IRL I hardly talk, which is why I usually go out alone, and hardly have any friends at all (and why forums are now my sole solace for companionship  ).
If the guy is anything like me, then I'll have to say that, no, he doesn't see you as a pest. In fact, he may even be kicking himself for not being able to react and be honest with himself. It may not that he doesn't want to see you or talk to you; he may really be busy with things and/or find it hard to talk to you for some reason or other. I know I would be like that.
If he does indeed have no intention of being in a relationship with you, then, well, I got nothing to say on that.
Either way, husky's right, you have to confront these kind of people directly. And even if he does admit that he likes you, you have to ask yourself if you are willing to live with someone like him(me) for an extended period of time.
Suddenly my own inferiority complex just grew...
__________________
I am me.
I am who I am.
I am Roarkiller.
No one else is me.
Roarkiller.net
Isakaya High RPG Site
quote:
Originally posted by fenkashi
Screw your opinions, they are not relevant ^^.
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| 04.17.2010, 10:35 PM |
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Miyrru
Graphic Designer
Registration Date: 08.16.06
Location: Freezing cold Northern Ontario
Posts: 7178 |
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Its tough being a guy, because so many of them, I like to assume around 90% are total and complete idiots, and they give the rest of us 10% a bad wrap.
I would say that you should give one more try talking to him, tell him straight one last time and get an answer. From personal experience, he sounds like acting distant is a personality quality. Something that is kind of ingrained, therefore changing and whatnot takes massive effort. I tried to change myself as well, because im similar to that, I can talk your ear off about anything and have good convos, but alot of times, I just feel like i dont want to see a living being. Maybe he is going through depression or something, because that is similar to what ive dealt with.
Anyways, I would say that he might really like you, and he wants to change, but is having trouble, I know that when I was with my gf, we didnt go out long because I was a work in progress and she wasnt willing to put the time in for the return, which is fine, but it is a choice you might have to make, whether it is worth it or not to you.
That was probably not helpful at all, but there might be something in there that makes a bit of sense hopefully.
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The truth had to be seen. Anything else was a story, entertaining but more embroidered fib then crude, shapeless fact. ~Dave Eggers
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| 04.17.2010, 11:54 PM |
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Nausicaa_Cat
Baron
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location:
Posts: 3198 |
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Thank you so much for your help guys! It was really helpful to get an opinion on it from all types of people, and I think I will sort of confront him on it. At least ask if there's anything worth putting all this effort in for.
So yeah, thank you very much! Love you guys 
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| 04.18.2010, 07:41 AM |
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fenkashi
Dibs on Supreme Overlord
Registration Date: 08.12.07
Location: Canada
Posts: 5733 |
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You know when you think you like someone? But then you always feel like crap when you finish talking to them? And then instead of putting you off that person, it just makes you more miserable.
Yeah, that really blows.
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| 04.22.2010, 11:39 PM |
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Roarkiller
Your Daddy-O
Registration Date: 06.03.03
Location: Home, resting...
Posts: 6077 |
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quote:
Originally posted by fenkashi
You know when you think you like someone? But then you always feel like crap when you finish talking to them? And then instead of putting you off that person, it just makes you more miserable.
Yeah, that really blows.
I think that's what usually happens when you can't connect with the person you like, doesn't it? At least for me, the "instead" is what usually happens for me.
And I tell myself everyday that I should just let fate decide... sigh...
__________________
I am me.
I am who I am.
I am Roarkiller.
No one else is me.
Roarkiller.net
Isakaya High RPG Site
quote:
Originally posted by fenkashi
Screw your opinions, they are not relevant ^^.
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| 04.23.2010, 10:31 PM |
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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Oh, hey, I should have checked this thread earlier  I certainly have much angst to outpour.
quote:
Originally posted by Roarkiller
Anyway, the point is, just ignore all these expectations. Yes, grades count, but there's really no point in studying for the sole purpose of getting a good grade. You go to school to learn, and you should set your OWN goals, not be forced upon you by anyone else.
Believe me, it's so much easier working towards your own goals than what others expect of you. Less stress, more productivity.
This is really good advice.
Perhaps I'm in a bit of a different situation than you, Kaz, because there's nobody actually telling me to get good grades. But sometimes the pressure that I feel is so much that I feel my stomach tighten and my hands shake. And then I start to feel that, if I could just fail and get it over with... then at least I wouldn't feel so much stress. And I wonder where all that pressure comes from, and I think in the end I'm putting it on myself. Or maybe it's peer pressure, I don't know.
Usually I keep my feelings inside (or vent here). But when I get really overwhelmed it becomes obvious enough that other people notice. Luckily my mom is really good at picking up on that, and what she tells me is usually something like this:
"Even though it often feels like grades are the most important thing, they actually don't matter that much. No matter what you're trying to do, a failing grade won't be able to hold you back. Later in life nobody looks at your high school record or university transcript, and you yourself probably won't really remember how well you did."
(And then she gives me a hug and offers to make tea )
I myself am training to become an engineer, so like most people in my area I'd love nothing more than to find a full scholarship from M.I.T. arrive in my mailbox. But I also know the chance of even getting accepted is practically zero, since there's many more people with straight A's applying than there are spots...
But then I get really flustered at the idea that some pencil-pusher at a computer in MIT can just filter me out of a spreadsheet. They don't know anything about me! So how crazy must I be, to assess my own value based on what the admissions clerk thinks I'm worth.
The thinking for most of my life has been, "if I don't do well in elementary school, I won't get into a good high school. If I don't do well in high school, I won't get into a top university. If I don't get into a top university, I won't get into the best grad schools. If I don't succeed in the best grad schools, good companies won't hire me, since the competition is so steep."
Well, to be honest, I'm done with that idea now. If grad schools decide I'm not good enough, that's their fault and screw them. I'll take an entry job and study from books. And if good companies don't want me, then I'll start my own when I have the experience.
My friends sometimes wonder if I'm overconfident, but it's still a contingency. And I think it's much better than letting my future get decided by someone's excel formula.
I still get really worried about marks from time to to time, like tonight. But when I think about the longer term, I do feel more confident and less afraid. The important thing is that I learn what I like, and absorb what I learn, and not that I can produce a good scantron sheet.
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Post last edited by Mush on 04.24.2010, 02:46 AM.
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| 04.24.2010, 02:46 AM |
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Roarkiller
Your Daddy-O
Registration Date: 06.03.03
Location: Home, resting...
Posts: 6077 |
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Call me in two years time if you do decide to start a company, I'll join you
__________________
I am me.
I am who I am.
I am Roarkiller.
No one else is me.
Roarkiller.net
Isakaya High RPG Site
quote:
Originally posted by fenkashi
Screw your opinions, they are not relevant ^^.
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| 04.25.2010, 12:22 PM |
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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You bet. That would make for interesting board meetings 
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| 04.25.2010, 04:46 PM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12816 |
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| 04.26.2010, 03:24 AM |
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Farren
Baron
Registration Date: 07.18.07
Location: Tasmania, Australia
Posts: 2163 |
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There's a chick that I'm meeting up with in a couple of weeks, that i tried to get with two years ago(i was to eager exited and inexperienced at the time). I'm now trying again and hoping to hell i pull all the right moves out and don't throw a brick on the bunny too soon,she and i have had many big conversations etc, and i think she knows i still hold affection for her and maybe she likes playing me on but she was still quite keen to catch up, which I'm happy about, but i want her!!!, and although friends is all we are at the moment i still just want to be more then that, she goes to uni an hours drive from me but thats no problem..... i'd like an opinion on when i should perhaps try for more then that? i know i should just be myself and hope, and wait and see,
but at this stage i don't want to risk our friendship, as i value it so highly, but i am hoping strongly!
she holds power over me, they are dangerous tantalizing vixens at times females...
but i just mm yeah..it's hard 
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pigeons funk the impossible
Post last edited by Farren on 05.31.2010, 04:50 AM.
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| 05.31.2010, 04:13 AM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12816 |
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Farren quote:
"they are dangerous tantalizing vixens at times females... "
hahaha, that is a 'truth' if I have ever heard one, lol...
As for when to try and bring the relationahip up to the next level, I am afraid that only you can decide that..
You are the only one there that knows this girl in any way and, tough though it may be, YOU have to make the decision. Whether it is worth the possible end or cooling of your friendship, only you can decide...
One woman I am friends with, I was in pretty much the same situation as you... She needed help moving some stuff from Chicago to our town and I flew out there and drove the rental truck back with her. She had a nerve problem with her back and couldn't concentrate on the driving herself. It was a three-day trip and we shared a room. Nothing happened and it was only a convenience thing, she would not have been able to do anything anyway. After the trip, I sat with her and flatout told her that I wasn't pursuing her, but that if things worked out between us, great! If not, then that was still good!
I spent many a day sitting and dining and chatting with her at her home and we found that we could talk about even the most personal things together with no embarassment whatsoever. Sometimes we would just sit and watch TV. She has since moved out of state and I miss the conversations we had together and the fun times even while just shopping together...
sigh...
anyway, sorry for the rambling, but as I said, Only YOU can make the decision and maybe even just a talk with her about how you feel about going further in your relationahip with her, but fear losing the friendship might be an option...
Whatever you decide, good luck, my friend
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| 05.31.2010, 10:32 AM |
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Farren
Baron
Registration Date: 07.18.07
Location: Tasmania, Australia
Posts: 2163 |
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@ husky
thanks mate you really made me see it clearly , my mind has been continuously tormenting me about it all, but I'll just let go and see what happens, and I'll stop torturing myself about it, and well i mustn't try too hard otherwise I'd just be a try hard but yeah.., i can only wait and see.
thanks for sharing too mate, you speaking from experience made your opinion mean a lot to me
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pigeons funk the impossible
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| 06.01.2010, 06:55 AM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12816 |
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| 06.01.2010, 07:04 AM |
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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ariiiise....
So. I was about to post this in the highlights thread, but I decided this one suits it better.
Today my parents had the most major fight that I've ever seen them have. It lasted for a long time... I don't know how it ended, because I left for work before that. But they seem to be on edge still tonight, and aren't talking much. 
Also, I broke up with my boyfriend. Or more accurately, he broke up with me, by email. I guess I saw it coming but... no, not really. The strange thing is, I felt no reaction - like it didn't even affect me. I don't feel outraged, guilty, relieved, heartbroken, or even happy or sad. Just nothing.
Is that... normal?
I wonder if it will hit me later.
Edit:
Hi, I know this probably sounds bad, but, I would really appreciate if someone would say something. Even if it's just a smiley face, so I know someone there is reading
I keep writing and deleting this message and rewriting it. But I'm having trouble sleeping and I just... yeah...
Seriously I haven't actually told anybody yet or talked about it with anyone, and I probably should. I'm not sure how to even bring it up though.
Anyway, I could use some words.
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Post last edited by Mush on 09.04.2010, 03:33 AM.
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| 09.02.2010, 01:16 AM |
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arren18
Administrator
Registration Date: 08.15.06
Location: Edinburgh
Posts: 10676 |
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I had actually been thinking of replying yesterday when I first saw your post but figured I probably couldn't help you much. But since you've asked for any response at all, I'll have a go.
I remember you saying at one point in another thread that things weren't so good between you and him, so perhaps you really did see it coming at some level, and anything you would have felt now, you felt when you realised that before. In any case, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the way you're feeling!
With regard to your parents, I hope everything's okay with them and that there isn't a serious problem.
And if that's cheered you up even slightly, good. *hugs*
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| 09.04.2010, 04:09 AM |
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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Thanks Arren, I'm glad. *hugs*
Yeah, I suppose I did see it coming and prepared myself for it. But I still didn't really expect it to happen. And now I'm kind of starting to hurt, when I think about what I've lost.
My parents seem to be doing okay, or at least they're not talking about it anymore. I feel bad for my dad though. Mom really attacked him, and it's his only vacation, too. I'll try to cheer him up.
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| 09.04.2010, 02:41 PM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12816 |
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| 09.04.2010, 08:55 PM |
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