quote:

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"There's nothing I'd like better right now."

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quote:

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“Where is this cake then? I don’t see any.”

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I headed to the teacher's lounge immediately after. Luckily, this time, Kazami-sensei was in the lounge.

"Well, you're here early. What's the matter?"

"Our class got released early, thanks to the shadow. Anyway, here's the questionnaire I promised."

I handed the copy of my note to her. She scanned the note for a short while.

quote:

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-When was the painting done, and under what circumstances?

-Were there any records, either from Munakata, his friends or otherwise, on his inspiration for the painting?

-Any information on who his subjects were?

-Any stories or rumours surrounding the painting, his subjects or the location?

-Any other useful information?

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I walked along, bag held behind me in both hands just looking at the pavement in front of my feet.

quote:

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A strangely talkitive Hibiki said: “I thought there was somewhere near here, but I don't really know. Well, if we just keep going, we'll find something eventually, right?"

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quote:

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“Do you know Kazuo-san at all? Have you spoken to him?”

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quote:

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Megu-chan said: “That’s so weird. I was just thinking something like that. Like we could keep going all day and all night until we reached the end of Japan and then wade out into the sea and swim."

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Post last edited by arren18 on 10.19.2007, 11:48 AM.

KAZAMI-SENSEI



The end of school bell went and I left the sensei’s lounge and returned to my small office in the corner of the art room. There was no club meeting tonight so the place was quiet although the stink of solvents hung in the air. Ah, those kids, how many times do I need to tell them to use the spray booths and run the extractors?

I switched on the main extractor fan and sat down, opening the window in my office. I glanced at the piece of paper Elias-san had given me.

-When was the painting done, and under what circumstances?

-Were there any records, either from Munakata, his friends or otherwise, on his inspiration for the painting?

-Any information on who his subjects were?

-Any stories or rumours surrounding the painting, his subjects or the location?

-Any other useful information?

What I wanted to know was why he was interested in this. I’d heard a few rumours but nothing official. Maybe because I’d kept my head down. I was a newish teacher here and while I heard things I chose to not pry into something that sounded both strange and messy. Very messy.

I used the landline. The arts area had a hard-wire phone because it was a hazardous environment - the woodworking and metalworking shops were adjacent - and in case of emergency… which was fortunate because this subject was one I didn’t want being overheard on my cell phone.

“Moshi-moshi?”

“Ume!”

“Hai! Mizuho? Genki-datta!?”

“Mah, mah…”

Small talk for a while, then I went for it.

“Ume, I’m calling in a professional capacity – yes, I know, very unusual – yes really, honestly. Now listen. I’m helping a student here with a special arts appreciation project and they want to find out some background about “The Keeper”. Hai, that’s right, the 1949 painting, the weird one. Well it’s all about how the critical art world views paintings in a certain way when an artist is well-known, I guess this student is thinking about the psychology of art-appreciation…”

The lies came out quickly and seamlessly, no script at all… we talked for a long time.

“So those are the questions. Yes. Yes, I understand. Yes. Of course. No, no rush. Tomorrow or Thursday? Sure that would be lovely. Very kind of you. Look, one final thing, could you call me on the school arts number? Not my mobile? Yes, that’s the one. No but it’s just easier while I’m in the arts area. We have this rule that students must have their mobiles turned off in lesson time and it looks bad if I get an incoming call. Arigato! Bye-Bye!”

I put down the phone. Lying is so easy… But it still hurts to do it.

Well, whatever Elias-san is up to, I am not going to get involved.

Post last edited by NON-PLAYER CHARACTER on 10.19.2007, 12:23 PM.

quote:

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Originally posted by Takeo
"Actually, now that you say it, I dont feel like having too much of a walk."

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Post last edited by Kazegami on 10.19.2007, 02:27 PM.

"ITs nice. Nicer than I expected, at least. I like the Sakura trees and the atmosphere. Things seem, hmmm.. i don't know, kinda airy to me. Hmm, thats is definitely the wrong word. What i mean is: you know when you have a walk in a forest, or in an open lanscape and its not just peacuful but it seems transparent and serene. In a good way."

Stop talking pointless nonsensical stuff Takeo!

"Im not really making any sense at all..."

And we walked around the corner of the main block.

"Anyway, but thats the just the atmosphere I get. Not concerning the shadow thing. On one hand it interests me but it annoys me how everyone is always talking about it. I mean, of course they would... but it just seems so gossipy and childish. It kinda gets on my nerves."

I sat down on a bench, the entrance in sight, and looked up at Kazuo, still standing.

"What about you, how does this school compare to where you used to go?"

quote:

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Originally posted by Takeo
"Im not really making any sense at all..."

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Post last edited by Kazegami on 10.19.2007, 02:46 PM.

quote:

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Seisaku-san said
"The albino guy eh? Sorry, I don't know anything. Why, what happened?"

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quote:

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“There’s something I need to tell you. But I need to tell someone I can trust. Can I trust you not to tell anyone else? This is important to me. You need to promise you won’t tell anyone.”

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"Arigato" I nodded at him and smiled, "Arigato gozaimasu, that means a lot to me. Not just your trust, but that you would give it. We've not known each other very long. And I've not exactly been very nice to you..."

We walked on a little way in silence. How to say this...?

I took a deep breath and plunged in.

“After we finished our walk at lunch break I bumped into him in a corridor and I had this really weird feeling, a crazy feeling. Something in his eyes. I’m still trying to work out what it was. It wasn’t anything to do with his appearance, no not that. But… ah, it’s like I just had a dream and woke and I’m trying to remember it and the harder I try the more it stays out of reach. Um, I have to ask this, but do you think he might be gay?”

He is, I’m sure he is, I just don’t know how I know that. How do I know that? I’d have to be psychic! I don’t want to be psychic! I don’t want to read minds, I just want to be ordinary!

“Gomen, that sounded really insensitive of me. I’m not picking on him at all, if he’s like that it’s none of my business and I don’t have an issue with it. But, well, I suppose I’ve led a sheltered life. You know, white, middle class, normal mom and dad, sister and brother, cat and dog, my family have plenty of money, nice house and holidays, good schools, everything so… normal. Completely normal. And coming from a background like mine I’ve never known a gay person before, so I don’t know how to approach him, if he is gay that is.”

“And yet I feel as though I don’t belong in this comfy world I’m born into. Maybe every kid is like this, rebelling against what they know. But I feel as though there is something different in me and I’m trying to find it and can’t. And when I looked at Kazuo-san today there was this really strange feeling, like a connection. And I don’t get it at all.”

We carried on along the top of the levee, a boy cycled past with a girl on the back of his bike, laughing. Down on the river side two other young people were sat, he had his arm round her shoulder. Everyone seemed to be in love, the world was full of it. I could see it around me. I wanted it but I couldn’t reach out and hold it. And that lack of direction upset and puzzled me.

What did I want? Who did I want? Did I actually want anyone?

I glanced at Seisaku-san, “But the really odd thing is… when I looked at him I had a light come on in my head telling me he was gay. It totally spooked me. How does that work? It’s weird. A sixth sense.”

We walked a bit further and then I stopped.

“What do you think? Am I psychic? Mad? Or just some stupid mixed up teenager with a hyperactive imagination?”

How long had it been since I had been able to talk to someone in this way? I listened to her speak and held on to every word which seemed to attach itself to my own experiences. I realized that she knew exactly what it was like for a child to have to go to sleep one day, wondering why their mother was not there to tuck them in. My depressing memories of those days threatened to return, but the fact that I was with someone who knew the same experience made me resist succumbing to them. It was a very powerful feeling. When I looked at Mai now, at the sincere expression on her face, I saw someone different then the girl I had known for the past few days who happened to sit beside me in homeroom.

"It's amazing, isn't it...." I said, after she told me about her father, "How much people can change when they experience something tragic for themselves." And as I said it, I realized that it applied just as much to myself, and probably to her, as it did to our fathers. We looked at each other briefly and I felt the return of that odd tingling somewhere in me, and when she next told me outright that she was happy to have met, I could not have imagined a more satisfying and absolutely rewarding thing to hear. I wanted to reply with something refined and substantial and then realized that there was no need for it - As I looked at here again, I simply said, "Me too...", knowing that the message would have gotten across, however awkwardly.

We continued talking and she told me about her family, I couldn't help but chuckle at her description of her loud brothers. "I have no brothers or sisters" I told her, "Just me and my dad. I know people always complain about their siblings, but sometimes I'm a bit jealous...". She continued to describe herself, and I noticed again how similar we seemed to be. "'Optimistic attitude, huh?" I repeated, "It's funny, that's what my father always used to say to me, whenever I was feeling down. "Always look at things positively, and remember that for every person who has life better than you do, there are many more who have it worse. So always remember that you have it lucky.". And he was right. "

We kept walking along and I couldn't help hesitating - "So, which way do you get home? I go up to Isakaya station and take the train."

Post last edited by Theowne on 10.19.2007, 07:42 PM.

"Hmm"
Well, that is an interesting happening, not quite what I expected but...
"Well, I can't say your crazy, I personally don't know him well enough to confirm or deny anything, but feelings do carry merit. You might be psychic, I'm sure there are a lot of things in this world that we don't fully understand, I wouldn't doubt it if you could. It is kinda strange however, you are probably mixed up a bit inside, but aren't we all?"
Aren't we all...
"Maybe you can't find what you are looking for because you are looking in the wrong place. I never really had everything putter along at a consistent pace, so perhaps I just block out those kinds of feelings, but I'm sure you aren't crazy, but you might not be looking in the right place to find what is up with you."
How do you answer that sort of question? Too many variables, not to mention her. He didn't strike me a gay upon meeting him, perhaps she is a little nutty

“I have something else to say, too. If anything it’s even weirder.”

"So please, if you could keep that promise running a little longer...?"

More? alright...
Yeah sure, say whatever you need to"

“About Kazuo-san. I can’t get him out of my head, he’s so beautiful. So pretty. What is it about him? I don’t know. I’ve never felt such a shock at looking at a boy before. Gorgeous…”

I shook my head. I stood there and churned things over and over.

“And Sho-kun… ha… Kawaii-hara. He’s really pretty too. Is that why I’m attracted to him? Is that what it is? But he’s so… ah, I don’t know. Distant. Hard to get inside of, everything he says seems like my words are just bouncing off and the real him is hidden away. But these two boys, Kazuo-san particularly. Something about them draws me in. Something beautiful….”

“It frightens me, these feelings. I went to lunch yesterday with Ren-kun, that boy who sits by the classroom rear door. He was cool, very smooth and funny. Good looking in a typical boy way. He made me laugh. But he didn’t feel close at all, he was nice, yeah, but I just don’t think he’s my kind of guy.”

“So, here I am looking at Kawaii-hara and Kazuo-san and thinking I could easily fall for either of them.” I walked on a few paces and gave an empty drink can a huge kick. It went flying. “And… dammit! It makes me so cross! Because I don’t know why! And I hate not understanding stuff. It really gets up my skirt!”

Umm, wow, I would mind having the problem of falling for too many girls, but that is just me...
Whoa, so you are just falling for all these people? Well, I'm not a girl, so I wouldn't know how to deal with that, but, it seems kinda random I think eh? So your problem is that you can't sort out who you would rather have?"
It keeps getting stranger and stranger...
"It can't be that bad, you are a very good looking girl, if you were to extend your hand to either one, I'm sure they would fall all over you. Take step back maybe, look at things from a little further of a distance, maybe then your dilemma will become clearer and you can make your choice."
Why am I so calm? She is falling for an albino guy who she thinks is gay, and this other guy? I like how I'm not even mentioned, but then, have I resigned myself to being a friend?

I stood there fuming at myself and staring at him. Then unable to fix it by just being angry I continued walking.

“It isn't that. I don't even know if I want to know either of them. The thing that I'm struggling with is why I feel this tension, being drawn to them. Sho-kun is just impossible. He looks so cute but... ah! I don't want to be rude about him. And Kazuo-san, he is so nervous with me. I tried to talk with him this afternoon but he was helpless, completely glued up with nerves. And I don't know why. If he prefers boys he should be fine with girls shouldn't he? Isn't that the way it works?"

"Gomen. This isn’t fair on you. You’ve been a good listener but I must sound boring. I’ll have to sort this out on my own.”