how do I deal with feelings of jealousy?

I've been feeling sort of burnt out emotionally, Im still in high school and I feel really isolated from friends, I have this one friend who often tells me about all her new things her parents bought for her, she is an only child so I understand there's different circumstances for everyone, and I should work on my gratitude more but it is frustrating seeing someone who gets things I want without working as hard as I do.

she also tries to relate by saying her financial situation isn't great as well but she comes across as trying too hard to get in my good graces. I feel bad about feeling this way, I think its some sort of inferiority feeling but I can't help feeling this envy. I'm just not sure if this insecure feeling will go away when I get older, I'm tired of feeling like this. I think that working on myself and being successful is the best remedy but I can't seem to stop the cycle of self-loathing for jealousy and then being more jealous.

This post is a little all over the place, sorry! I just needed to get this off my chest, but advice would also be really appreciated.

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踊れいのちのパ.ド.ドゥ
今日も夢みてる (^▽^)♩

toriforiumu, do not feel alone in your feelings of 'jealously' as I am sure that most of us had this feeling about someone at one time or another in our lives... Kinda dates me, but I remember as a kid, being jealous about the kids in my neighborhood that had a COLOR TV, while all we had was a B&W TV!!! If I happened to be over at someone's house with a Color set, I enjoyed it, yes, BUT... We also did other things together, like digging a 'fort' in Arthur's backyard; playing Bumper Pool at Sullivan's house; and otherwise just doing boy stuff...

As I got older, I envied those who had a Hot Car, like a Corvette, while all I had was a Rambler station wagon...

You mention 'feelings of inferiority' and yet, you also tell about how your friend is trying to get in your 'good graces'! If this is so, then there must be something about you that your friend is jealous about...

I do not know you personally and so it is hard to offer advice that might help... All I can say at this point is to just try not to dwell on your 'jealously' and try to find other things about, or with, your friend that you may be comfortable with...

Good Luck in your endeavors...

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I agree that your feelings are understandable! I think sometimes friends can be a bit insensitive when sharing things that they're excited about and don't see how it might be hard for you to relate. And I also get why you might not really see it as much of a help when your friend tries to explain it away.

What husky said is a good point though - even if your friend has an annoying habit of doing this kind of thing, she does want to stop you feeling bad about it, so she must feel it's worth maintaining the friendship! I realise that sometimes it can be difficult to stop being hard on yourself, even when there's evidence that other people like you (I definitely feel that way pretty often) but try to focus more on the positive things about your friendship, and about yourself too. We're all worth more than what stuff we have.

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I think that's true, I hadn't thought about it like that. I know she cares a lot for me and this is definitely not something that really would ruin a friendship or anything, but I seeing it from a different point of view really gives me clarity.. Thank you I really appreciate all the advice!!

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踊れいのちのパ.ド.ドゥ
今日も夢みてる (^▽^)♩

Good luck, toriforfiumu...

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