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Koda
Ohmu
Registration Date: 07.09.13
Location: England
Posts: 454 |
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 01.19.2014, 06:11 PM |
   
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Roarkiller
Your Daddy-O
Registration Date: 06.03.03
Location: Home, resting...
Posts: 6077 |
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The first and only time I tried to ask a girl out she cut of all communications with me.
Yup.
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I am me.
I am who I am.
I am Roarkiller.
No one else is me.
Roarkiller.net
Isakaya High RPG Site
quote:
Originally posted by fenkashi
Screw your opinions, they are not relevant ^^.
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| 01.19.2014, 09:35 PM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12792 |
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After my school days were over, I had no girlfriends until after I got out of the navy. I knew a lot of girls/women but couldn't establish a relationship with them except for being friends... I found it hard to try and put the make on a women that I thought of as a sister...  The one girl who was attracted to me was only 13 when I came to know her (I was 24 or so). She told me later (when she was about 40) that I was the only guy in her young teen ages that didn't hit on her, but that she would have done anything I wanted.
She had even run off to a 'party' and her Mom called me. I came to the house and found a phone number in her room. I don't know how I knew, but I called that number and threatened them with all kinds of hurt if she wasn't standing outside a local library within 20 minutes. I drove to the library and there she was. I took her to my apartment and called her mom to let her know she was with me. I talked with her for about an hour and then took her home. I am still friends with her and her family and her husband. She is about 58 now...
haha, just thought of it, but my sister turns 58 next month, lol... sigh, like I said earlier, lol.
I met a woman when I was 25, moved to another city to be with her, but it didn't work out. Then met another woman a couple of years older than me, but that didn't work out either. Then I met a young woman on a school bus I was driving at the time. She was 17 and I was 27 and we just seemed to be a match. I introduced myself to her mom and SHE wasn't to happy with me at first (I was only 13 yrs younger than mommy, lol). I didn't think of it until later, but my wife was the same age as my sister, only abt one month difference. Maybe the caring and babysitting I had done with my sis all those years in the past made me more comfortable with females of that age span, I don't know...
We got married and had three kids. Unfortunately, after 27 yrs of marriage, she found someone else she was happier with on the internet and we divorced. She was on her own for about 9 yrs, but now is living with one of our sons.
That is basically my romantic life up to now. I am 67 now and I am friends with a lot of men and women and have been so all my life. I enjoy mingling with others, but I also have my 'alone' times. That may have been part of the problem with my marriage, my 'alone' times...
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| 01.20.2014, 05:10 AM |
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Mush
Baron
Registration Date: 07.30.07
Location: South of Canada
Posts: 1810 |
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Husky, I don't think you get told this often enough. For some reason, reading these stories about your life is so comforting and makes me feel like everything will turn out OK.
I guess at my age it's so easy to get sucked into a short-term view like a vortex. Since it's been several years since I was in a relationship, while almost all of my friends are finding long-term partners, I was starting to wonder if I'm doing something wrong and whether I'll be alone all my life. I've been making more of an effort recently, but people who are interesting to me don't come around very often. Not ones who are single, at least.
But reading your post feels like taking a deep breath of fresh air and getting a view from high up. 
Just thought I'd mention that. ^^
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| 01.20.2014, 10:48 AM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12792 |
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You are very welcome, Mush. And thank you for your comment.
I will be the first to say that I have made some bad decisions in my life, I think that everyone does at one time or another. I've survived them and don't see why others won't either.
Even though my marriage ended up in the toilet, so to speak, I don't regret it one bit. I was in love with a woman and sired three good kids by her. Life was a struggle and I wasn't able to follow the career path that I wanted to, law enforcement, but in the end it was good. I worked at a variety of jobs through the years and decades to support myself and my family. That was my primary thought, support the family and give guidance where I could.
That is somewhat the way I feel about the Tavern. I am the oldest one in here, to be sure, but sometimes I am in a position to give advice or how I did something, good or bad, or to simply offer an opinion. Some one like Saddles, he's been around long enough to have made his own decisions and I don't believe that he is that much younger than I so I wouldn't necessarily be posting my advice towards him as much as to the younger members in here.
Life is usually a long, long road, but surprisingly, it is a short one as well. I am 67, I was born in 1946 and to the younger members, that seems ancient and a very long time. But to my mind, I can't believe how quickly time flies by. It just seems like yesterday that we were going INTO 2013 and now it's 2014... As you get older, your time sense seems to speed up and go by more quickly. A lot of my days are repetitious, week by week and that may be part of the reason, I don't know.
My boys, with families of their own are doing ok, I am still helping my daughter, but most of you know her circumstances, I play bingo, I do historical research in my area of the state, my name has been put into a book and local newspapers for my work in history. I volunteer on a Vietnam Unit Memorial in San Diego and go to dinner with a friend of mine every so often. I can't physically do as much as I used to, due to infirmities, but I am told to keep coming around anyway. I talk to people who come by to see the Memorial and explain about it to them and I am told that just being there inspires the other men. It may be just words, but it makes me feel good and still useful.
Again, thank you Mush...
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Post last edited by husky51 on 01.20.2014, 01:08 PM.
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| 01.20.2014, 01:06 PM |
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Koda
Ohmu
Registration Date: 07.09.13
Location: England
Posts: 454 |
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quote:
Originally posted by Roarkiller
The first and only time I tried to ask a girl out she cut of all communications with me.
Yup.
Well I don't know what to say to that, haven't you tried talking to any girls since ?.
Husky, you are certainly a great man, You clearly have lived and long life full of good and bad decisions, but both are what shaped who you are now.
I am 18 years old, I am dating a girl called Camille. We have been dating since November 27 2012. This is my first proper girlfriend, I am only young so that's not a bad thing. I am extremely happy with her, she understands me, she appreciates all my hobbies. Which is great, we just click. She was dating a guy when we first met, who happens to me in my class this year, we are friends now  . They just weren't working, so they broke up. She was upset, but I was there to comfort her. We started getting closer, and within a month we were dating.
I speak to a lot of people, I'm a pretty social person, but going to college helps with that anyway. Though College is different in the UK than it is in the US etc. I am loosing sleep over the fact I finish college in less than 6 months, and I don't have a job.
Most of my friends have part time jobs, whilst studying at college. I am currently in my second year of college, studying Professional Cookery & Hospitality Level 2.
I am in a predicament now, I am finishing college in June. We both want to do different things, I want to start up my own Catering business. She wants to learn to be a Pastry chef in France. I don't want to loose her, but we are both getting older now. What should I do ?, any advice ?.
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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge
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| 01.20.2014, 05:35 PM |
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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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Aw crap. So the guy I had a crush on just messaged me asking me to have tea with him. I accepted but now I'm just like, "Oh frig, how do I even talk to him?!". D:
Should I tell him I have a fear of guys though?? Or something like that. I've been fine around a guy I met recently, but I'm only comfortable around a few. And I didn't hang out with my him on my own but with another person. I'm just extremely nervous and I know how I can get with guys sometimes - I turn into a rock. Gaaah.
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| 02.05.2014, 10:45 PM |
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Tea Master Tall
Totoro
Registration Date: 04.01.07
Location: United States
Posts: 730 |
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Single and ready to mingle. 
Just kidding. But, I'm basically just taking a break from dating I think, probably 'till college or whenever I find someone who I feel like I can be around for a long while without going crazy. If I had any fancy ideals for a relationship, I think they've probably all been crushed. I just hope for someone who I can feel comfortable around, who at least understands me most of the time.
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| 02.05.2014, 11:05 PM |
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Tea Master Tall
Totoro
Registration Date: 04.01.07
Location: United States
Posts: 730 |
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quote:
Originally posted by foreignfilmfreak
Aw crap. So the guy I had a crush on just messaged me asking me to have tea with him. I accepted but now I'm just like, "Oh frig, how do I even talk to him?!". D:
Should I tell him I have a fear of guys though?? Or something like that. I've been fine around a guy I met recently, but I'm only comfortable around a few. And I didn't hang out with my him on my own but with another person. I'm just extremely nervous and I know how I can get with guys sometimes - I turn into a rock. Gaaah.
He sounds like a pretty respectable guy. Haha. Actually I just like the fact that he asked you out for tea. He makes a good first impression by my standards. If a girl asked ME out for tea, I would be so turned on.
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| 02.05.2014, 11:12 PM |
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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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quote:
Originally posted by Tea Master Tall
quote:
Originally posted by foreignfilmfreak
Aw crap. So the guy I had a crush on just messaged me asking me to have tea with him. I accepted but now I'm just like, "Oh frig, how do I even talk to him?!". D:
Should I tell him I have a fear of guys though?? Or something like that. I've been fine around a guy I met recently, but I'm only comfortable around a few. And I didn't hang out with my him on my own but with another person. I'm just extremely nervous and I know how I can get with guys sometimes - I turn into a rock. Gaaah.
He sounds like a pretty respectable guy. Haha. Actually I just like the fact that he asked you out for tea. He makes a good first impression by my standards. If a girl asked ME out for tea, I would be so turned on.
Bahahaha He is a really nice guy. He's pretty much my neighbour but I never really see him out and about unless he's at the library reading.
And he just asked me if I'd like to bring my cat over to his place since his housemate has a cat too.
The only thing is is I'm so nervous, I'll probably run away....
Post last edited by foreignfilmfreak on 02.06.2014, 10:02 AM.
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| 02.06.2014, 10:02 AM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12792 |
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| 02.06.2014, 01:43 PM |
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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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quote:
Originally posted by husky51
Why would you run away? Stiff upper lip and all that. Buck up, kiddo and accept his offer of tea. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Anxiety. I accepted and I get to meet his housemate's cat. So I'm pretty psyched about the cat.... yeah, I'm easy to please.
Also I've never really hung out with a guy by myself besides my ex-boyfriend so it's a little odd. And I wouldn't call it a date but it's my first time being asked by a guy to have tea or food or something. I mean, I have guy friends but I've only hung out with one by myself and we just sort of went grocery shopping together alone. I'm really nervous around most guys.
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| 02.06.2014, 06:38 PM |
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Orphic Okapi
Baron
Registration Date: 04.08.07
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 1335 |
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When I was younger I had the most crippling anxiety around girls that I liked. Not around girls in general, because I think half of my friends were girls. But if I liked a certain girl I would spend ten minutes thinking about the next thing I should say and exactly how to word it and whether or not it was creepy, etc. By the time I had finally settled on what I wanted to say the moment in the conversation was long gone. It might be an unavoidable stage (for introverts, at least, this stuff seems to come more naturally for extroverts).
It sounds really cliched and stupid, but ultimately you want to date someone you can be around without having to filter your every thought. Someone you can feel comfortable just saying the first thing that pops into your head with. It takes some practice to get used to communicating like that, and sometimes it means saying something dumb that you regret, but that's never the end of the world. As I got better and better at curbing my anxiety, I began to realize that even if I did something wrong, the outcome was never as bad as I imagined it would be.
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I like tea!
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| 02.06.2014, 07:01 PM |
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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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I'm one of those weird people with social anxiety where I don't really care what I say as long as I say something. lol But most of my friends find it endearing and I haven't scared off anyone yet (although I do swear a lot unintentionally).
I dunno if I really want to date this guy because I get this feeling around 3/4s of the guys I meet. Or if I sit close to a guy in class (someone sat super close to me at a social gathering last night and made me feel extremely uncomfortable) I will move as far away as possible from them. Yeah it's weird. I mean, there's actually a possible reason as to why I get so uncomfortable, but I don't really want to post about that..
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| 02.06.2014, 09:38 PM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12792 |
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| 02.06.2014, 11:41 PM |
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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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In this case, it's not just me with anxiety problems. He does too, I think. :B He was friends with one of my closest friends who was here last year on exchange, and she usually did photo shoots with him (here's to hoping he doesn't ask me to model...).
I'm fine sometimes but not all the time. I'm also usually OK as long as like a girl is with me. Pretty sure most of his housemates are female. By the way, I don't know if he's... y'know.
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| 02.07.2014, 12:01 AM |
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fenkashi
Dibs on Supreme Overlord
Registration Date: 08.12.07
Location: Canada
Posts: 5726 |
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I guess this can go here.
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! 
I'm kinda terminally single and pretty ok with that so far, but I hope all of you with crushes, partners, lovers, etc have a wonderful day with them! And best of luck for any brave ones planning on confessing feelings~
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| 02.13.2014, 05:54 PM |
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husky51
The Old Guy
Registration Date: 03.17.08
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12792 |
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Don't give up, fen, really don't. You are a very pretty woman and some guy just hasn't smartened up to the fact that you are an attractive person as well. We all know you somewhat and I think that what I say is true. (well, otherwise, I wouldn't say it lol)
Hang in there sweetie, your day (er, guy) will come...
Happy Valentines back to you, with much love.
In fact, Happy Valentines to all, male and female, from this ol' Husky... Woof!
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| 02.13.2014, 07:58 PM |
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fenkashi
Dibs on Supreme Overlord
Registration Date: 08.12.07
Location: Canada
Posts: 5726 |
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Aww thanks husky ^^ I have the opposite problem, unfortunately =( No idea what I'm really looking for in a relationship so I never know what to do with guys that are interested in one. And idk, there's already so much to do with life. I haven't felt the lack of a boyfriend.
Guess I'm weird like that~
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| 02.13.2014, 08:24 PM |
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foreignfilmfreak
Miyazaki's Best Friend
Registration Date: 10.02.06
Location: Japan
Posts: 7589 |
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That's not weird, Fen. I have friends who also feel that way. It's fine to. When you feel ready to, then that's when is most important. I hope, if I remain single much longer that I could actually be that way somehow. x)
Agh, I'm starting to really like this guy but I'm not sure what to do or expect. It's gotten really bad for me. I mean, he really likes a lot of the same stuff as me and that was a pleasant surprise. But I don't want to expect anything to develop. It's hard though.. I wish I hadn't had a crush on him before because it makes things 10x harder.. My friends all seem to really like him as a person though. Sigh, what can you do I guess..
On a side note, I received a bunch of compliments from Japanese exchange students.
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| 02.13.2014, 10:05 PM |
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